ab imo pectore

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| shower me with coach hunny and serenade a love song to me|

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hits since 22nd November 2006

Monday, September 24, 2007

10:34 AM

i realised that my world is seriously falling apart.i have no social life and i hardly ever have time for myself.my supposed "me" time no longer comprise of just sitting down there staring at puddles on the streets but just the occasional smoke breaks.what's wrong?just what exactly's wrong.i have always been trying to attain that perfect balance in my life but to no avail.yet i always try to convince myself that my life is perfect.talk about living in denial.looking back i noticed that i have done loads of shameless stupid things that i just totally despise myself thinking of it.what could have possibly went wrong and what was i thinking then.was i actually in the right frame of mind?am i actually in the right frame of mine right now?lately i just seem to be really not in touch with the world.in fact i think im drifting away from it day by day.funny how i used to think that my friends have changed.could it all along just have been me and not them.i really wonder now.im starting to get really paranoid about the things around me.the rumours the gossips and all.funny how just a simple slip can rule out to such events.sigh.talk about the things which can possibly happen when your drunk.owells so long that i know that they are so not true.or so i really hope.sometimes i really feel like just throwing in the towel and to just break now and cry.everything is crumbling,the walls are closing in.sometimes i just want to cry out loud for help but nothing comes out.but no i am strong and no one is ever going to see me in such a state.not now.not ever.hopefully.i know i can sustain.geesh.i really think ineed to strive to attain that perfect balance.if that can actually happen.maybe with such i can actually be happier.i can actually walk around with a genuine smile and not one that is plastered on my face.yes i know.how superficial i am indeed.perfect.there's no such thing as perfect.if there's no such thing why actually create that unattainable word.funny how easy one can say it though its so hard to reach.dont you just think the world is just simply so ironic.indeed indeed.

where o where has my life gone to?

Ysome hearts are meant to be broken;;